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Non-PE, philosophy-oriented question

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  • Non-PE, philosophy-oriented question

    I posted this on yahoo answers after listening to my friends talk about all the girls they've been with - realizing that these are girls I watch grow up into what they are today, acting how they do... specifically - going out and having sex and still acting as if they were innocent...

    I'm more upset about watching girls change than I am confused, even though this statement may seem untrue...

    Anyway - I was wanting some feedback from the guys here. I know this question is addressed to females - but if anyone has any input - please speak up.

    ----

    When I think about girls I feel bad. I think about the way we're trained as we grow up...

    It seems like if you're a girl - a normal looking - pretty girl - you're "brainwashed" (I'll explain why I puncuated in a moment) into being a certain way.

    You grow up as a girl - and you have people in your life protecting you if you're beautiful... you have it easy compared to the outcasts growing up...

    You are treated in accordance with your beauty... and at the same time you're still a human being. At the same time you still are as scared and confused as the rest of us...

    you come into the world and this part of you that is given special treatment learns that there is some kind of protection from the pain and suffering that is given to everyone else who isn't as beautiful...

    but at the same time you meet new pain and suffering that those of us that never were beautiful would never understand fully... a pain and suffering that comes from never being able to relate to the rest of us. It may be out of bitterness that I say this but this pain is nothing compared to what we who are not like you - those who are not special and popular and loved because of what we look like and how we are bred go through...

    But you girls who are so perfect -

    I see you out there and I the men who love you and protected you - your fathers and brothers - and we both know how heartbroken they'd be when they realize that you're human and you like to have sex. You like to get drunk. You like to get stoned.

    I feel like they saw this innocence in your beauty that needed to be protected from these things we percieve as evil... and when you find these things (because you're a human being...) something special is lost. Something that was at one time protected - some beautiful innocence is lost.

    You're a human being just like me.

    But I'm ugly and people have treated me as such. No one would care whether or not I was out having sex and drinking and doing drugs...

    No one would care if I was alienated and I still feel like I'm in a cage when it comes to social interactions - all because of how I am seen as one of "them" - a normal person... nothing special about me... someone who was picked on for being ugly and fat growing up...

    but they - and I - certainly watched as beautiful girls grew up into beautiful women - who revealed in front of everyone that they were human afterall whether they either became curious about sex or did drugs for some reason... or ran off with some guy who seemed to make everything seem as if it would all work out some how...

    I watch these things happen and it hurts me.

    I listen to my male friends as they talk about having sex with you - not caring about your parents feelings about you being grown up- finally old enough to do it, even if you started in freaking junior high... but rather - treating this experience as if it belonged to them (the males that you were with) and only them... talking about you like you were an accomplishment - as if we were cave men, boasting about out latest kill where we provided for our families and became men...

    and I sit there and tell everyone around me that it hurts me to see them participate in this game.

    I'm weak myself... and since this is annynoumous - I will say that I selfishly feel like I'm hurt the most...

    I have no specific quesiton... but I wonder if some girl who is out there - who is drinking and having sex and doing drugs...

    who has had guys fall in love with her just because she was friendly and "took them in"...

    who has banished said guys from ever talking to her again because she was creeped out by him - the moment he said he like her more than a friend...

    If there is a party girl who's family believes to be a saint...

    if you can give me some perspective on why we keep doing this - why we hurt eachother and why we lie - I'd love to hear from you.

  • #2
    toneshark. Hang in there buddy. This is a question that needs a woman's answer. I have e-mailed a few women from the BetterMan site and attached this link. I hope they respond. JP

    I've got a Tiger by the tail.

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