Concerns regarding not being able to stay fully hard while having sex-PEside effects?

EraStyle

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Hey guys, fellow PEGymers (now biohackers)

I honestly have no where else on the internet to post and ask about this, so here goes nothing. It's the first time I have ever brought out an issue regarding basically "erection quality"

Last 2 years now, especially last 6 months or so, I have been having difficulties staying hard while having sex. I am not in a LTR but I have had a few girls. I haven't had tons of sex with them, just some times with each of them.

I can manage to get pretty hard in the beginning while kissing. But as soon as it has stayed hard for a while (during foreplay), or as soon as I am having sex, it goes to about 50-80% maximum... This goes for all of the sex positions. This is a huge problem. It does NOT represent me nor my character. I am a very flirty, high libido, almost always horny kind of guy.

If we take a break for just a minute or so, it can even just go back to a semi-erect or even pushing flaccid. It just does not make any sense anymore. I don't know what's going on. I have never been able to stay fully hard while laying on my back straight, even if I am masturbating. I always have to sit or lean back with my upper body sort of tiltet up a bit. Which is not the worst, as I can do missionary and doggy, etc.

Here are some notes regarding health:

- I am in my 20s
- I am extremely fit and exercise very frequently
- I have good cardio
- I eat very healthy
- I probably have high testosterone as I "feel" manly and i can even get random erections when I am outside or if I am flirting with a random girl outside, which is something even my friends can't get
- I have no health issues
- I take Vitamins, Zinc, Magnesium and B6
- I drink A LOT of water every day
- I don't use ANY drugs

I mean, what else is there to say? Googling this issue, I only get answers that does not fit my health remarks

I rarely masturbate, and haven't done so in a few months actually. I don't really watch much porn. Sometimes just a little bit of solo if I edge.

I am able to sit down and get 100% hard if I for example decide to masturbate to porn. I also get 100% had after doing a PE routine (jelq, stretch, Bathmate, clamp), which leads me to think...

I certainly hope PE can not have anything to do with me having these issues with sex? My penis is clearly having a problem - it won't stay fully hard even if it should be. I admit the girls I have been sleeping with aren't the hottest girls I'd want, they don't make me "that" horny, but they are still girls. We get along and I am able to get hard as soon as we touch and kiss each other in the beginning.

I don't want to try any type of viagra or such drugs. Is there any possibility PE "might" have caused me some issues with this particularly problem? Why would it, if I am able to get and stay hard a long time while edging for example? If I use a bathmate, I can even easier get harder, but I dont want to get dependent on it.

My last sex session with these failures was a few days ago. And I have not done ANY PE for the last 2-3 weeks.... I am able to have sex, but my penis just gets kind of rubbery because it can't stay hard.

I am circumcised, so my penis is unfortunately not "that" sensitive either, which does not help the case. On top of this, doing PE for so many years might have desensitized it a bit more... But I wouldn't think this necessarily would be a reason for said problem because I am able to stay hard for a long time if I edge or masturbate. I do NOT think I have the "death grip" thing because again, I don't masturbate often. And if I do, I use tons of coconut oil/lube.

I can't see how this can be a psychological issue as I don't stress very much and I am calm.

I know it's a long post, but you guys are my only "hope".
 

Diet Dr Pepper

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Here's some of my thoughts:
1. Find some one your really into or try something with these girls that gets you going (roleplay, toys, dress up, whatever kinks you have, dirty talk etc.)
2. If you can get hard when you edge or masterbate it's either in your head, or your squeezing too hard and regular sex isn't the same.
3. If bathmate helps make it a part of your routine.
4. I use viagra when my erections aren't great. It's not ideal but a solid backup until you figure out what's going on. Use as needed if prescribed of course.
5. When I used to excersize a lot and was about 50 pounds lighter, intense workouts would 100% have trouble getting erections. If your workout intensly for example running hard, crossfire, or something strenuous then this will have effects.
6. I would get my testosterone and blood levels tested just to make sure everything is in order.
 
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EraStyle

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Here's some of my thoughts:
1. Find some one your really into or try something with these girls that gets you going (roleplay, toys, dress up, whatever kinks you have, dirty talk etc.)
This is very true. All of us would rather be with a girl that makes you hotter than ever, but it's not always possible. I still search but it can take time.

2. If you can get hard when you edge or masterbate it's either in your head, or your squeezing too hard and regular sex isn't the same.
If it's in my head, I am not sure what to do. I mean, if it's in my head, why can I get about 50-80% hard only, only during the sex? If anything, I thought maybe it's because the vagina is "squeezing" the penis quite while penetrating, which can "choke" the penis, and push back blood for example. However, if I get a blow job (not really great ones), I still can't get 100% hard...

3. If bathmate helps make it a part of your routine.
I haven't tried it paired with sex, only with PE itself and it makes my penis 110% hard post pump. I don't mind using BM in my routine for sex, but I "need" to find out if PE has caused any side effects for me.

4. I use viagra when my erections aren't great. It's not ideal but a solid backup until you figure out what's going on. Use as needed if prescribed of course.
I honestly don't want to start using it, it's too early for me. If I start using it (getting prescribed is very hard where I live for a guy like me as well), it might make me dependent very fast

5. When I used to exercise a lot and was about 50 pounds lighter, intense workouts would 100% have trouble getting erections. If your workout intensely for example running hard, crossfire, or something
strenuous then this will have effects.
I recover, sleep 9 hours a night, eat well. It should not interfere with an erection during sex... I grew up with sports and have trained like an athlete most of my life. I have also had the erection problem in smaller periods where I was resting more for example.. So I don't know about this one.

6. I would get my testosterone and blood levels tested just to make sure everything is in order.
I will make an appointment for this. It takes a while here though. I had one test last year and everything was good.

I appreciate the fast respond, Diet Dr. Pepper. Very good suggestions.

I have bolded my answers to your responses. Thank you very much this far. I know these things can get into our heads the more we think about it, but it's really a "blow" to myself here. I feel like I am failing as a man right now. Things does not make any sense and I feel like I don't want to pursue women anymore before I find out what on earth that is causing this.

As I mentioned, I don't even masturbate anymore. It has been many months. I haven't been an "average masturbator" the whole 2021 as well. This should have helped me if "death grip" or "masturbating too much" or similar things were the case!
 

Diet Dr Pepper

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Your not failing just going through a rough patch. Those were some ideas I had you'll get through this.
 
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Big Al

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There's a term known as "selective performance anxiety" which describes how one can be comfortable in some scenarios and not others. Usually, the threshold for anxiety is cross for the more "performative" actions- like penetration. Subconsciously, one feels they're being assessed during penetrative acts- and this leads to the problems observed.

If the anxiety is manageable, refraining from any activities which lead to the issue for a short period is advised. Engage in those activities you feel most comfortable with, but attempt to refrain from ejaculation. As you allow your libido to build, begin to experiment with techniques which previously caused the issue. This is a form of exposure therapy.

The above is best done in conjunction with a trusted sexual partner.
 

EraStyle

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There's a term known as "selective performance anxiety" which describes how one can be comfortable in some scenarios and not others. Usually, the threshold for anxiety is cross for the more "performative" actions- like penetration. Subconsciously, one feels they're being assessed during penetrative acts- and this leads to the problems observed.

If the anxiety is manageable, refraining from any activities which lead to the issue for a short period is advised. Engage in those activities you feel most comfortable with, but attempt to refrain from ejaculation. As you allow your libido to build, begin to experiment with techniques which previously caused the issue. This is a form of exposure therapy.

The above is best done in conjunction with a trusted sexual partner.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Big Al. I see you suspect it can indeed be a psychological problem, which I can not dismiss.

I am a "performer" by nature, and I feel like I want to perform well with the girl. I want her to remember each time. It's from my athletic sports background as well as just my personality in general. I want to dominate and blow her mind with my stamina.

Maybe you are on to something?

"Subconsciously, one feels they're being assessed during penetrative acts- and this leads to the problems observed."

This reminds me of the last girl I was with (which I have not been with since). She kind of had expectations I felt, that I was going to be very good. Seeing me as a very manly looking guy, very athletic built with muscles and veins, knowing about my training regimes.

Also for some reason, maybe something that might have made it more difficult, is that during foreplay, she asked if I had eaten something special (because my breath/kiss were not like they were previous). I got a little bit self conscious about it and mentioned it might be garlic or something since I ate earlier. I had brushed, flossed, chewing gum, everything. She said it was the first time she noticed, and unfortunately, that was during the foreplay before first time we have real sex. I insisted it's probably because I ate and did not know she was coming over. She sort of insisted it's not a bad smell, just a bit different.

However, the breath thing has not happened with previous girls, so I can't see how that can be the main problem.

"If the anxiety is manageable, refraining from any activities which lead to the issue for a short period is advised. Engage in those activities you feel most comfortable with, but attempt to refrain from ejaculation. As you allow your libido to build, begin to experiment with techniques which previously caused the issue. This is a form of exposure therapy.

The above is best done in conjunction with a trusted sexual partner."
Could you elaborate more regarding "refraining from any activities which lead to the issue"? It happens only during sex. My penis is out and I am going to enter. And it sort of gets weaker while pounding, changing positions, etc. My libido itself is good as I understand - but the blood is not filling up maximal as it should when penetrating! This is why I am having smaller thoughts in my head, blaming it on PE.

I had not ejaculated in a couple of weeks, this last time I was with the girl. So it clearly did not matter to refrain from the ejaculation :/

I'd love to do more testing with a trusted sexual partner - however I do not have one. And this last girl (un)fortunately is not very keen in continuing. Not sad about it as she is not really my kind of type, and she does not turn me on too much. But she still is a girl, petit, slim, tight downstairs... makes no sense for my penis not to work when entering a tight one like that...

I managed to break my ego and talk to my best friend about this issue as a man. He said it's all in my head, that's all, and that I just need to try again to "prove yourself wrong" by managing to do it properly... But he obviously does not know I do PE. He is unbiased with that part
 
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Big Al

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Could you elaborate more regarding "refraining from any activities which lead to the issue"? It happens only during sex. My penis is out and I am going to enter. And it sort of gets weaker while pounding, changing positions, etc. My libido itself is good as I understand - but the blood is not filling up maximal as it should when penetrating! This is why I am having smaller thoughts in my head, blaming it on PE.

I had not ejaculated in a couple of weeks, this last time I was with the girl. So it clearly did not matter to refrain from the ejaculation :/

I'd love to do more testing with a trusted sexual partner - however I do not have one. And this last girl (un)fortunately is not very keen in continuing. Not sad about it as she is not really my kind of type, and she does not turn me on too much. But she still is a girl, petit, slim, tight downstairs... makes no sense for my penis not to work when entering a tight one like that...

I managed to break my ego and talk to my best friend about this issue as a man. He said it's all in my head, that's all, and that I just need to try again to "prove yourself wrong" by managing to do it properly... But he obviously does not know I do PE. He is unbiased with that part

Glad to help!

Your attempt to use logic to resolve the issue won't be effective because it's a purely emotional concern. As long as your worries over performance override your natural instincts and your ability to enjoy the act, problems will remain. The goal should be to get your mind back into the state it was in when the prospect of sexual activity was something to enjoy, and not something to worry over.

"Refraining from any activities which lead to the issue": In your case, the activity which should be put on hold for the time being is penetrative sex. If you don't experience anxiety with certain activities (e.g.: kissing, touching, certain foreplay) then engage in those activities as you see fit to. The goal should be to relax and allow your urges to build while performing those activities which don't trigger your anxiety. As your urges and confidence build, then you can attempt to engage in the activities you had put on hold.
 
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Glad to help!

Your attempt to use logic to resolve the issue won't be effective because it's a purely emotional concern. As long as your worries over performance override your natural instincts and your ability to enjoy the act, problems will remain. The goal should be to get your mind back into the state it was in when the prospect of sexual activity was something to enjoy, and not something to worry over.

"Refraining from any activities which lead to the issue": In your case, the activity which should be put on hold for the time being is penetrative sex. If you don't experience anxiety with certain activities (e.g.: kissing, touching, certain foreplay) then engage in those activities as you see fit to. The goal should be to relax and allow your urges to build while performing those activities which don't trigger your anxiety. As your urges and confidence build, then you can attempt to engage in the activities you had put on hold.
Got you, Big Al. You are making more sense than me. My problem is often overanalysing and using too much logic to resolve things.

Do you recommend me to stop PE completely for a while? I am def. not going to masturbate and finish, I enjoy being on NoFap more (and maybe edge sometimes for the strengthening).

I am considering only doing a few minutes of wet jelqs + 10 min bathmate with erection and stop at that for a little while forward. My original plan was to start alternating bathmate and clamping in the same session: bathmate 10 min, clamp 10 min, 2-3 sets. I believe it would produce more gains for me. However, after this incident, I have become uncertain... Somehow I keep telling myself that the stretching of the ligaments is what is causing the bloodflow problem during sex. Because my ligaments are fairly loose now, I feel like my penis is not as strong as it should be when having sex because it's too flexible. Hard to explain... Maybe I should stop stretching as well? I have never had fears with PE, it has always felt right, but this thing is screwing with me

Surely, only doing some wet jelqs for 10 min, then a 10 min bathmate session cannot be bad? Especially for someone experienced with PE exercises?
 

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Got you, Big Al. You are making more sense than me. My problem is often overanalysing and using too much logic to resolve things.

The price to pay for having a human mind is the potential logical traps we set for ourselves.

Do you recommend me to stop PE completely for a while? I am def. not going to masturbate and finish, I enjoy being on NoFap more (and maybe edge sometimes for the strengthening).

I am considering only doing a few minutes of wet jelqs + 10 min bathmate with erection and stop at that for a little while forward. My original plan was to start alternating bathmate and clamping in the same session: bathmate 10 min, clamp 10 min, 2-3 sets. I believe it would produce more gains for me. However, after this incident, I have become uncertain... Somehow I keep telling myself that the stretching of the ligaments is what is causing the bloodflow problem during sex. Because my ligaments are fairly loose now, I feel like my penis is not as strong as it should be when having sex because it's too flexible. Hard to explain... Maybe I should stop stretching as well? I have never had fears with PE, it has always felt right, but this thing is screwing with me

Surely, only doing some wet jelqs for 10 min, then a 10 min bathmate session cannot be bad? Especially for someone experienced with PE exercises?

That depends. If your erectile issues are experienced solely limited to certain sexual acts, then you should be OK to perform a full routine. Still, it would behoove you to begin including exercises like Emotional Visualizations in your training so you can begin learning how to better control your emotional responses.
 

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The price to pay for having a human mind is the potential logical traps we set for ourselves.



That depends. If your erectile issues are experienced solely limited to certain sexual acts, then you should be OK to perform a full routine. Still, it would behoove you to begin including exercises like Emotional Visualizations in your training so you can begin learning how to better control your emotional responses.

You seem to have to have a lot of knowledge outside the PE world as well. Very much appreciated responses...

I had a visit from the same girl I experienced this thread's main issue with a couple of days ago. This time it was just a friendly hanging out visit, no sexual stuff, no flirting. While she was leaving, we were talking about some things, and I noticed my penis became semi-erect, even if I tried to "think it away". She saw this of course, but we tried to not say anything about it, while I was explaining to her about some stuff related to our conversation.

This just confirms to me that there can't be any issues for me to get turned on... I could've probably had sex with her that day, but I sort of don't want to because a) a bit afraid it happens again and b) I am not that sexually attracted to her.

Someone would suggest to "use" her for trying out again, but I am not sure I can do that, even if she wants.

Regarding your suggestion for continuing full PE, I don't know why but I have a feeling that it's the stretching that takes a toll on my sexual erection quality... Because of the pulling and stretching and holding the inner ligaments. I have no proof of this, it is simply an instinctive feeling.

But just doing girth work, it makes more sense to me, seeing as they are blood promoting exercises. Again, I am considering just doing jelqing + bathmate for some weeks forward perhaps while trying to regain my "hunger" for flirting and getting to know girls again. The hunger is not there yet due to this trauma I have had.. I see a nice woman and think I can try to flirt with her (in a relative situation ofc), but then I "feel" downstairs that it failed me once, it might fail me again.

I went from around 17 cm BPEL to 18 cm BPEL in 1 year (2021), those are some good gains, and they are probably all from the ligaments...

Excuse my English and the way I phrase things, Big Al, as it is my 3rd language.
 

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I would say, that, the penis, once exercised, is never the same as the 'virgin' untrained penis. The jelqed penis is never the same as the previous unjelqed penis. It may be thicker, or veinier, perhaps; but it will not act exactly the same as the virgin penis. This is not to say that jelqing necessarily damages your function, but it does change the penis. The young boy who never touches his penis, never masturbates or jelqs; now great riches and pleasures of flesh await his innate erection. I will not write much about stretching, but that is the training that you believe changed your penis. Only you are the expert on your penis.
 
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Your concern over the ligament loosening during PE is not likely the case. The ligament simply anchors the fascia of the tunica albuginea to the pelvis and can alter the angle your erection rests at. What causes an erection is the inflow of blood into the corpus cavernosa overwhelming the outflow of blood, and the corpus cavernosa filling until it squeezes against the tunica albuginea and occludes the drainage veins creating closed system. When you can’t maintain an erection it is usually do to insufficient blood flow in to hold the drainage veins closed.
This can be many caused by things. Damage to the tunica is possible from PE but very unlikely as it is a very strong connective tissue and does not like to expand much, and more importantly if you can maintain an erection in scenarios outside of penetrative sex then the issue is not likely mechanical damage from PE to the ligament or tunica. It is most likely blood flow problem from a stage in the NO/cGMP cycle, of which your mental state has significant impact on. I think Big Al is right on this one and it is likely a subconscious performance anxiety or something similar. Abstaining from penetrative sex while you re-solidify your foundations can help, because there is a negative feedback loop from this happening often. Your performance anxiety can cause penetrative ED, and then your penetrative ED can cause further anxiety and continue the cycle itself.
 
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gauge22

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I have had this issue on/off. I believe it is confidence, but also having an understanding partner. Get some viagra and priligy. Your confidence will be renewed after a few uses and things will go back to normal. (did for me at least)
 
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Big Al

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You seem to have to have a lot of knowledge outside the PE world as well. Very much appreciated responses...

Thanks for the kind words!

I can understand you just fine :)

It might be a good idea for you to focus on more "EQ friendly" enlargement exercises for the time being. Light jelqs and pumping should work well. That being said, you appear to be cognizant of just what's going on as regards your anxiety levels. When you feel ready, you should begin attempting to test your limits.
 
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I would say, that, the penis, once exercised, is never the same as the 'virgin' untrained penis. The jelqed penis is never the same as the previous unjelqed penis. It may be thicker, or veinier, perhaps; but it will not act exactly the same as the virgin penis. This is not to say that jelqing necessarily damages your function, but it does change the penis. The young boy who never touches his penis, never masturbates or jelqs; now great riches and pleasures of flesh await his innate erection. I will not write much about stretching, but that is the training that you believe changed your penis. Only you are the expert on your penis.
Very nicely put - and very good points. My penis has changed so much since I started PE years ago. I have so many more and thicker veins, everything is more defined. I do not mind this however - as long as the veins are being put to good use, which they are not for the moment.

You point speaks to me as well because in the recent days, I have spoken to 2 of my closest friends about my issue. They of course were shocked at how I could be a victim of this since they know how much of a, excuse the pun, "horny guy" I am, but of course they reassured it had to be random and psychological, because it has happened to "all of us". Little do they know that my penis isn't exactly like "everyone's" or theirs anymore.

Still; why would I be able to hold an erection while masturbating to porn? Is it possible I have somehow made myself accustom to only be able to have a solid erection in a certain sitting position (the one I have used all years while masturbating), and it's now taking a toll? This seems rather odd... Because since I opened this thread, my penis is still not back to normal. There's a certain feeling I have down there, and psychologically, where it kind of feels like my penis "isn't really there" at the moment. The morning erections are very weak and rubbery (rubbery just like when I had sex).


Your concern over the ligament loosening during PE is not likely the case. The ligament simply anchors the fascia of the tunica albuginea to the pelvis and can alter the angle your erection rests at. What causes an erection is the inflow of blood into the corpus cavernosa overwhelming the outflow of blood, and the corpus cavernosa filling until it squeezes against the tunica albuginea and occludes the drainage veins creating closed system. When you can’t maintain an erection it is usually do to insufficient blood flow in to hold the drainage veins closed.
This can be many caused by things. Damage to the tunica is possible from PE but very unlikely as it is a very strong connective tissue and does not like to expand much, and more importantly if you can maintain an erection in scenarios outside of penetrative sex then the issue is not likely mechanical damage from PE to the ligament or tunica. It is most likely blood flow problem from a stage in the NO/cGMP cycle, of which your mental state has significant impact on. I think Big Al is right on this one and it is likely a subconscious performance anxiety or something similar. Abstaining from penetrative sex while you re-solidify your foundations can help, because there is a negative feedback loop from this happening often. Your performance anxiety can cause penetrative ED, and then your penetrative ED can cause further anxiety and continue the cycle itself.
The angle of which my erection rests has changed a little bit since pre-PE. I had a almost 12 o clock upwards angle to a now around 10:30 I'd say, which is not a problem for me, considering my 3 cm length gains since the beginning until now. I like your explanation, which makes sense regarding damage in the tunica or ligaments vs it being a blood flow problem which seems way more likely judging from how you describe it, as well as the psychological "anxiety" (which I found so weird because I was not nervous at all, and I am not a nervous person in general). I am abstaining from penetrative sex, and even from orgasm. I don't know if it's the right way, but I can't see too many options here.

I have scheduled a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks in order to ask for a blood test to check my hormone levels, etc. I honestly don't expect to find anything on it, but I figured it is worth a try and it has been about a year since last time... I will probably tell the doctor why I asked for it, even though it is very embarassing.

I am also speculating in trying Viagra for the first time ever, just to see if I am able to hold a full erection solo without too much efforts.. This might re-affirm that there is not a direct problem in my penis, especially if I can stay hard while sitting, standing up, and edging for a long time. Do you guys agree on this? Or should I stay away from said drug? My friends told me it's a neat thing to have at your home anyway just in case performance anxiety happens if you have a woman over..... Can't believe I am saying that, as I really should not have these problems.


I have had this issue on/off. I believe it is confidence, but also having an understanding partner. Get some viagra and priligy. Your confidence will be renewed after a few uses and things will go back to normal. (did for me at least)
Thanks for the input, gauge22 (I see it is your first and only post as well, welcome). Your suggestion is, like I mentioned above, something I am considering. But I do not have access to sex/partner right now. I need to find my spark back again to get my game on...


Thanks for the kind words!

I can understand you just fine :)

It might be a good idea for you to focus on more "EQ friendly" enlargement exercises for the time being. Light jelqs and pumping should work well. That being said, you appear to be cognizant of just what's going on as regards your anxiety levels. When you feel ready, you should begin attempting to test your limits.

First of all, thanks for getting my account back up, Big Al.

Yes, either this week or next week, I'll start doing some light jelqs and a set of pumping to test how it's feeling. It's Incredible how much this has affected my mentality as well. I am no longer flirting and chatting with the girls I am in contact with. Some of them are probably even feeling it just through my text game and the way I am showing lack off my typical flirting and interest in them. All of this because I am not feeling it downstairs. It's like a woman on her period, or a woman's sudden rollercoaster of feelings just dropping down. Very confusing and emasculating I feel. but I am trying to stay positive now. I mean, it should only get better from now.

I have also been reading a little bit about kegels again. I have seen some people on this forum (and other random places through Google) having a problem in maintaining an erection while having sex. Some managed to cure a little bit of this by doing more reverse kegels. I admit that my normal front kegels overpower the reverse kegels, but I am already aware of how to use rks during sex, and normal front kegels; rks to last longer and not reach PONR too soon, and kegels to stop in case it gets out of controll. However, using rks takes a toll on the erection level. Maybe I need to start edging focusing almost enterily on doing it while reverse kegeling. My normal kegels are good and have always been incoporated in my jelqing (kegel every or every other jelq for example) and girth work...
 
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Big Al

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Glad to help!

It needs to be understood just how important emotions are in maintaining optimal hormonal profiles. The more stressed out you are, the more dopamine levels drop and cortisol increases. This reduces free testosterone, which can cause a vicious cycle effect.
 

Dreadsteed

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Still; why would I be able to hold an erection while masturbating to porn? Is it possible I have somehow made myself accustom to only be able to have a solid erection in a certain sitting position (the one I have used all years while masturbating), and it's now taking a toll?
This is something common you do see now and again on the forum. Masturbating almost exclusively in the sitting position could theoretically train your brain to become unaccustomed to holding your erection in tandem with balancing the pelvic floor muscles in standing or power positions during sex. You could try doing some of your edging standing up or kneeling like you would be in some common positions during sex. The stresses on the pelvic floor are very different between standing upright and laying or sitting down. If this was the sole problem though I would expect you should be able to still maintain an erection during sex in a cowgirl position.
If you have a porn addiction this can also lead to loss of EQ during sex as you can come to rely on that constant, intense visual/mental stimulus over the tactile and more subtle visual/mental stimulus during regular sex to maintain upkeep of NOS in the NO/cGMP cycle.
I have scheduled a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks in order to ask for a blood test to check my hormone levels, etc.

I am also speculating in trying Viagra for the first time ever, just to see if I am able to hold a full erection solo without too much efforts.. This might re-affirm that there is not a direct problem in my penis, especially if I can stay hard while sitting, standing up, and edging for a long time. Do you guys agree on this?
A hormone test is a good idea. At the very least if it comes back normal then you can knock that off the list of potential problems and narrow down your issues further.
Just for some food for thought: Viagra and Cialis are PDE5 enzyme inhibitors, which I could go into detail for you on how exactly they work if you wanted, but they are not going to make you become reliant upon them like some people fear. Viagra (Sildenafil) has a quicker activation time to reach max saturation, and Cialis (Tadalafil) has a slower activation time but a much longer half-life so it lasts much longer. They both target the same enzyme and prolong the lifespan of cGMP leading to improved EQ and erection uptime. I don't think they will tell you much about your current issues however. PDE5 inhibitors can even work around some physical and psychological problems in bringing EQ back up to usable levels, and can increase EQ beyond what you would naturally have as well if your ED problems are minor. So if you did have a small physical problem it is unlikely that this would show anything useful as it would likely get overridden and masked anyways. And even using this as a 100% EQ comparison isn't quite going to match up to your natural 100% EQ when PDE5 isn't being artificially inhibited. Either way though there is nothing shameful in trying a little helper pill, and it could certainly help out in a pinch if you find yourself in an unplanned romantic situation you don't want to back down from.
I have also been reading a little bit about kegels again. I have seen some people on this forum (and other random places through Google) having a problem in maintaining an erection while having sex. Some managed to cure a little bit of this by doing more reverse kegels.
For me personally I have been doing a kegel/rk routine thanks to the advice from the men on the forum and it's been helping me a lot in getting more consistent quality erections. Though my focus was improving a weak PF with more kegels than RKs. It could be more than one issue causing this problem for you though. Only masturbating sitting down messing with mental wiring, a porn addiction messing up stimulus sensitivity, a PF imbalance, PE fatigue, and/or potentially some subconscious performance anxiety could all affect your EQ. Testing different things will probably be your best bet in narrowing it down further.
 
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EraStyle

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Glad to help!

It needs to be understood just how important emotions are in maintaining optimal hormonal profiles. The more stressed out you are, the more dopamine levels drop and cortisol increases. This reduces free testosterone, which can cause a vicious cycle effect.
Noted. Life isn't as fun as it used to be pre-covid, so it definitely have had an impact regarding routine life, and slight "depression" (not sure if I'd call it that). Not being able to travel like I used to, to get that fresh breath of a different air, really has an impact on life if you were used to that lifestyle. Anyway.

​​
This is something common you do see now and again on the forum. Masturbating almost exclusively in the sitting position could theoretically train your brain to become unaccustomed to holding your erection in tandem with balancing the pelvic floor muscles in standing or power positions during sex. You could try doing some of your edging standing up or kneeling like you would be in some common positions during sex. The stresses on the pelvic floor are very different between standing upright and laying or sitting down. If this was the sole problem though I would expect you should be able to still maintain an erection during sex in a cowgirl position.
If you have a porn addiction this can also lead to loss of EQ during sex as you can come to rely on that constant, intense visual/mental stimulus over the tactile and more subtle visual/mental stimulus during regular sex to maintain upkeep of NOS in the NO/cGMP cycle.
I think you are really on to something here. Because this has been my case with sex for a long time. Many positions would reduce my erection quality (but NOT lose it). I initially thought it is because of gravity pulling down, for example when laying on my back straight, I have never managed to get 100%. I'd had to rather lay back in a little upward position like I am leaning my back into pillows for example. Or when standing, I admit I have had some problems in keeping it 100%. But not that much of a problem.. I understand we can not have a 100% erection all the time during a long sex session unless the stars align that night. But at least 90%. I'd be interested in hearing more about how the positions stress the pelvic floor different as you suggests. I have noted that I will from now on forth attempt to edge and do girth exercises while standing up - at least til I feel tired, then continue while sitting, and then standing, like a mixture. It would be very interesting if this is legit and could actually help me maintain a better erection in certain positions.

I'd like to say that I doubt I am addicted to porn, highly doubt it. In the last 12 months, I have only used it on and off for the end of my PE sessions (and it's solo porn). But I don't need it and it's not every time. I can't imagine it having that big of an effect on me, compared to others who watch regular porn weekly. I'd also like to say that just before this failure of a sex session I had, I was recently on a 3-4 months NoFap, meaning I had not ejaculated for that long other than once with the same girl 2-3 weeks before our session (not sex induced though).
That means that my penis should've been on fire. I enjoy "NoFap" because it makes my penis always feel full, ready, and erection quality is always great. My mental clarity and the way I act is also affected in a more positive way, even though this might be total anecdotal, it's still real to me. This has been my experience for a couple of years now going on and off.

A hormone test is a good idea. At the very least if it comes back normal then you can knock that off the list of potential problems and narrow down your issues further.
Just for some food for thought: Viagra and Cialis are PDE5 enzyme inhibitors, which I could go into detail for you on how exactly they work if you wanted, but they are not going to make you become reliant upon them like some people fear. Viagra (Sildenafil) has a quicker activation time to reach max saturation, and Cialis (Tadalafil) has a slower activation time but a much longer half-life so it lasts much longer. They both target the same enzyme and prolong the lifespan of cGMP leading to improved EQ and erection uptime. I don't think they will tell you much about your current issues however. PDE5 inhibitors can even work around some physical and psychological problems in bringing EQ back up to usable levels, and can increase EQ beyond what you would naturally have as well if your ED problems are minor. So if you did have a small physical problem it is unlikely that this would show anything useful as it would likely get overridden and masked anyways. And even using this as a 100% EQ comparison isn't quite going to match up to your natural 100% EQ when PDE5 isn't being artificially inhibited. Either way though there is nothing shameful in trying a little helper pill, and it could certainly help out in a pinch if you find yourself in an unplanned romantic situation you don't want to back down from.
I see, so it's not like I am doing any damage both physically, but I could potentially "fool" my penis into thinking that being maxed out on Viagra is what it should strive for without the drug, which would be confusing since it could potentially mask my already induced problems... It would however confirm that my penis in theory can work 101% if am understanding you, hehe.

I am aware of the activation and duration time of Viagra and Cialis. It would be Viagra I'd try because that's the easiest one to get where I live. Also, I would not need something that'd last over a day right now.

For me personally I have been doing a kegel/rk routine thanks to the advice from the men on the forum and it's been helping me a lot in getting more consistent quality erections. Though my focus was improving a weak PF with more kegels than RKs. It could be more than one issue causing this problem for you though. Only masturbating sitting down messing with mental wiring, a porn addiction messing up stimulus sensitivity, a PF imbalance, PE fatigue, and/or potentially some subconscious performance anxiety could all affect your EQ. Testing different things will probably be your best bet in narrowing it down further.
Which routine have you been doing?
I think it can be a combination of the performance anxiety, PF imbalance and perhaps the sitting down-thing. I doubt it is PE-fatigue because I had not been doing any PE for 2-3 weeks when the incident happened. I felt great actually. Especially if my hormone test comes out clean. I mean, reflecting so much over this issue recently, with the help of you guys, I can't really see any other proper reason. I had Covid in the end of November, but it was nothing and I felt fine within days, back to running, and I had spontaneous boners after that as well outside, with girls, etc. I have seen some stuff about Covid maybe causing ED issues for men, but I honestly don't really think that's a likely issue, at lasts not for me personally.

Imbalances, the anxiety I had, and especially the psychological affect it had right after that night with the girl, seem to be the case rather...
 
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Big Al

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Noted. Life isn't as fun as it used to be pre-covid, so it definitely have had an impact regarding routine life, and slight "depression" (not sure if I'd call it that). Not being able to travel like I used to, to get that fresh breath of a different air, really has an impact on life if you were used to that lifestyle. Anyway.

Fresh air and sunshine will be helpful. Also, if you feel your dopamine levels to be too low you can test out L-Tyrosine. It's an amino acid which has a dopamine increasing effect, and the effects can typically be felt in minutes.
 
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Dreadsteed

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I think you are really on to something here. Because this has been my case with sex for a long time. Many positions would reduce my erection quality (but NOT lose it). I initially thought it is because of gravity pulling down, for example when laying on my back straight, I have never managed to get 100%. I'd had to rather lay back in a little upward position like I am leaning my back into pillows for example. Or when standing, I admit I have had some problems in keeping it 100%. But not that much of a problem.. I understand we can not have a 100% erection all the time during a long sex session unless the stars align that night. But at least 90%. I'd be interested in hearing more about how the positions stress the pelvic floor different as you suggests. I have noted that I will from now on forth attempt to edge and do girth exercises while standing up - at least til I feel tired, then continue while sitting, and then standing, like a mixture. It would be very interesting if this is legit and could actually help me maintain a better erection in certain positions.
Well your body is built around withstanding gravity, but the only time this matters imo is when you are upside down. Get an erection and then lie upside down on the edge of the bed or something and watch how fast you lose the erection haha. But for most positions gravity isn't a problem. The sitting position pools the most blood in the pelvis, while also allowing you to relax and focus solely on your Johnson, so it's usually the natural go-to position for edging or pe. Laying down flat, standing, kneeling, lying sideways, staggered legs, etc... all have different pelvic floor stresses and venous congestion effects on the pelvic floor. The analogy for how most of the muscles in your pelvis support the PF is to think of them like a hammock. Their jobs are to hold up the reproductive organs on top of them, provide structural support to pulling forces between anchorage points, to prevent unwanted body emissions, while still others have more distinct roles in homeostasis and the sexual response. When you are supporting your body weight, this creates tension in the PF, which could affect your EQ depending on how dependent your brain becomes on certain conditions while signaling for NOS production. A mixture of several positions while trying to maintain an erection during PE or edging is definitely the best way to go to kick any dependencies the brain might be making.
I'd like to say that I doubt I am addicted to porn, highly doubt it. In the last 12 months, I have only used it on and off for the end of my PE sessions (and it's solo porn). But I don't need it and it's not every time. I can't imagine it having that big of an effect on me, compared to others who watch regular porn weekly.
"Porn addiction" doesn't always directly relate to frequency of use. It is more about whether you rely on the strong stimulus too much to maintain your erection levels. A pretty easy way to tell if you are dependent on porn for EQ is to do a couple edging sessions without any porn at all. If you can maintain EQ with just mental arousal and tactile stimulus alone then I would say you don't have a porn addiction effecting your EQ.
I see, so it's not like I am doing any damage both physically, but I could potentially "fool" my penis into thinking that being maxed out on Viagra is what it should strive for without the drug, which would be confusing since it could potentially mask my already induced problems... It would however confirm that my penis in theory can work 101% if am understanding you, hehe.
Physiologically the penis itself won't likely change any from the bonus EQ from a helper pill. And whether your unit can reach 100% or not naturally won't be observable because even if it couldn't a PDE5 inhibitor could let it reach 100% anyways. It is more likely to be the case that you could regain some mental sexual confidence on some level by having a great sex session with some supplemental EQ, which could help to break out of a self-perpetuating anxiety/diminished-EQ cycle messing with your hormones and muddying the blood flow needed during arousal.
Which routine have you been doing?
I am just doing a simple and low volume routine I made myself on a 60:40 K/RK split. Doing 20 combined holds for 3-4 sets, 3 days a week right now. I also throw them into my edging sessions (3-4 times/week) for practical practice with how they effect my sensitivity during action, and for practice with dry orgasms.
But it sounds like you're forming a solid plan of action to tackle this problem. Give some things a try and see how your body responds.
 
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